Fry 'et' Laurie once more:
Pass the Marmalade
Funny enough sketch that I feel the need to post the script (be forewarned, some language verges on the naughty):
(Stephen and Hugh are sitting at either end of a long table, having breakfast. Hugh is a woman, Stephen isn't.)
H: Could you pass the marmalade, darling?
H: The marmalade, could you pass it?
S: You want me to arse the parlourmaid?
H: No darling, there's a pot of marmalade at your elbow, I want you to pass it.
S: A potty marinade in my dildo, have you gone mad?
H: Darling I want you to pass the marmalade.
S: (Amazed) You want me to fart the hit parade?
H: Pass the marmalade.
S: Smile at Roy Hattersley? You want me to smile at Roy Hattersley?
H: That doesn't sound anything like "pass the marmalade".
S: Roy Hattersley hasn't found anyone to pass the marmalade? You're babbling, woman.
H: No dear. I want YOU to pass the marmalade.
S: Roy Hattersley wants me to pass the marmalade?
H: No, I do darling.
S: An eiderdown? I'm not going to pass Roy Hattersley an eiderdown.
H: If you'll just listen!
S: He can get his own damned eiderdown like everyone else.
H: The marmalade dear, can you pass it?
S: Expecting people to pass him eiderdown as if he was someone special. No one's ever passed me an eiderdown.
H: Will you pass the marmalade?
S: No I will NOT go to bed with Les Dennis. Not at any price. I think you must be off your head.
(Hugh gets up, walks down the table and picks up the marmalade. Stephen buries his head in the paper.)
S: The Substantial Tide's Indebt smell by more quoits?
H: No dear, the Financial Times Index fell by four points.
S: Oh. Pass the marmalade will you?