As a deeply devoted "South Parkateer" and a longtime fan of the original "Thunderbirds" series, I must say I wait with bated breath for the launch of "Team America: World Police":

http://www.teamamericamovie.com/

Who better than Matt Stone and Trey Parker to simultaneously humanize and immortalize brutal despots? First Saddam Hussein...who made his most notable performance in "South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut". Now, the eminently lovable and idiosyncratic Kim Jong Il, better known as "that little pot-bellied dictator from North Korea", will be forever sealed in our minds as a small wooden puppet. From the snippets I've seen...I'm going to love this movie. Hopefully they stay within the bounds of at least some semblance of taste, but what can I even hope for from these guys? Probably not that.

For all the popularity of emo crap and 80's rehash poprock on the local scene, I feel sometimes like heading back to my roots. Listening to Chicago Transit Authority and Led Zeppelin II seem to confirm it. That's the kind of music I was born to play. I am, after all, my father's son.

Oh man, I am going to need a bigger amp.

"I am now and have been for years a firm advocate of developing a system to limit the people who can vote in this country. We need to find a way to restrict the number of people who can vote. If we don't weed out the chaff soon it may well be too late. Don't give me that 'democracy' nonsense. In spite of what you hear from your government school teacher, your leftist college professor, or that smiling talking head on television, we are not a democracy. Never were. Weren't supposed to be. You won't find the word 'democracy' in the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution of the United States or in any constitution of any of the 50 States. There's a reason for that. Our Founding Fathers hated the idea of democracy. They knew that a government of majority rule would dissolve into a tyranny of plunder and chaos. In anticipation of yet another knee-jerk response to my proposal that we limit voting, let me remind you that there is absolutely no constitutional guarantee of your right to vote in any federal election. Do some reading. It isn't there. A latte to the person who can find anything in our Constitution that sounds remotely like 'each citizen shall have the right to vote in a federal election.' Happy hunting." -Neal Boortz

Hats Off To Jocelyn Elders

The loopy dingbat Surgeon General of the early Clinton years, I had all but forgotten Ms. Elders. This morning I stumbled across a portion of tape I had made probably some ten years ago of some of her more batty remarks. This woman was a true comedienne, she was talented...along the lines of Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf (individuals who claim to be serious, but are so insanely funny it is hard to believe that they are). Imagine a cross between a zestful inner-city preacher and Nurse Diesel from Mel Brooks' High Anxiety, and that's the ever beloved Jocelyn Elders. I can't even describe the things she said...it would not do her justice. It was the way she spoke, her diction. You were fantabulous, Jocelyn, we remain your devoted fans whereever you are.

Oh, how the Mighty have fallen, my friends. CBS sends in its bomb-defusing squad a good long week after Rathergate detonated. It's too late, guys, sorry. You've nixed your credibility...so long, you self-important dinosaurs of the previous journalism age. Long live the dynamic, populist power of the blogosphere.

I'm thinking tentatvely of actually getting involved locally...I've been to many local GOP leadership meetings at the behest of future President Talbert, but I'm pondering attending a UMKC College Republicans meeting. Not that I'm ever on campus anymore, but hey, why not, I am a student after all.

And yes...though I've not mentioned it before, I finally purchased my car. It is a beauty, a stunning emerald green 2001 Mazda Miata LS, leather interior, tan ragtop, 6-speed transmission, Bose sound system, optional rear spoiler...it is my baby. I love it more than I thought I could love a car. Which isn't all that much admittedly (no, I'm not auto-obsessed), but still, I do think it is about as awesome as a car in my price range could be. Ohhh that suspension, crisp, rigid, and responsive...the car fits like a glove, and responds with an almost telepathic sensitivity as we carve through the serpentine roads, the crisp September air rushing past and the lusty growl of the engine...music to my ears. Did I mention it is beautiful? Anyway, for all who have not experienced the luxury that is a roadster, Miatas are highly recommended. Zoom-zoom.

I should be in marketing, really. I want a car that is "powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball". Oh, Homer, what have I become?

And yes...this makes the idea of a baby grand seem distant and unreachable. Ehh, VSTi's are ridiculously cheaper, more flexible, and generally better-sounding too. They just lack the romance...no strings vibrating, none of that subtle interplay and sympathetic resonation. But who cares. Rather, who cares enough to warrant the price. Not me, at least, not at this point.

Almost finished with Coulter's book...it is a masterpiece, gents, and don't you forget it. Buy it or procure a copy from your local library, I must insist. As a young man (if only in a literal sense) I am amazed to think of what we have been taught about Joe McCarthy. It's the ultimate payback of the comsymp liberals he exposed...a true revisionist hitjob. I daresay, not even comsymps...actual Soviet agents paid by the Kremlin.

Ladies and Gents,

Here is my reasoning why we should be even more optimistic than the polls suggest. The key issue is not what the American people think in general, it is who is going to actually vote, and what they think. The Republicans of this country are riding high after a fiery convention, and are extremely optimistic, and they love their guy. The Democrats are demoralised, and are united much less in support of Kerry, whom they generally dislike, than in hatred for Bush. Few Democrats want to go to the polls this year because they love John Kerry, because he's their guy. They view this election as a bitter contest between Bush and Anybody-But-Bush. Hate for Bush will prove to be much less motivating for people to head to the polls than support for a candidate. Look at it this way...Demos are kind of depressed about this election, because they don't particularly like either choice. Would you rather go to the polls to choose between a candidate you really liked and one you didn't, or two candidates you disliked, albeit one more than the other? Republicans are excited to cast a vote for George Bush. There's excitement there. Democrats...at least those Democrats who have been paying attention...see their candidate and are quietly remorseful of their choice. Everyone knows Kerry is a schmuck...we expect that of politicians anyway, so its no big surprise, but you KNOW they are longing for the days of the charming, engaging schmuck...but soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Bill Clinton is the sun! Dream on, Demos.

Reading Coulter's book "Treason". Excellent book I must say, three cheers for Whittaker Chambers and Joe McCarthy. The book is a resounding success of truth in the face of liberal revisionism.

Ohh, I am giddy as a schoolboy today, mis amigos, at the unfolding absurdity going on at CBS News. Death knells for the Kerry campaign if the spaghetti hits the fan. And it just might.

I hope you all have been watching this unfurl, because it is mesmerizing, a tooth-and-nail fight between the Old Media and the New Media. The Old Media, vanguarded by Dan "Stinkypants" Rather (his college nickname) and CBS, has been caught by the throat, yet refuses to yield. Cheers for the bloggers who blew the whistle, brilliant analysis. My favorite part of all this, though, is the conjecture of the source. Many believe the source of the forgeries is the Kerry campaign. If this is confirmed, goodbye John-John, you will join the ranks of Mondale and Dukakis. The crazier conjecture, put forth by reporters undoubtedly clinging to hope, is that KARL ROVE (!!!) created these and fed them to the DNC. Its just crazy enough to be brilliant, and I would be almost pleased to know we have such clever if absolutely insane people on our team, but give me a break! The idea was good for a laugh in any case. Rove must also be behind Sept 11th!!! And AIDS!!!

Anyway, if we wrestle the source of these forgeries out of CBS, which is a tough job, and it is a Kerry or DNC affiliate...then I can drink my celebratory Hine Triomphe now instead of election night, because its officially over. I really wouldn't mind seeing the polls jump up another 10 points for Bush. We're really quite close to Nov 2! Less than two months, folks. Kerry's modern day PCF 94 is shot full of holes and he looks to be going down with the ship.

In other news, I played my Fender Jazz Bass the other day, I've had it loaned out and I've missed it. Ooooweee baby you set my soul on FIRE...that's why I know you are my only desire... Sorry, it was just so groove-tastic, my friends, that I had to interject some Stevie Wonder. Something about a Jazz Bass, the grooves just pour out. Smooth, sophisticated, rich. Oh yes, I can dig it. Man, Eustace is filtering over here or something. But seriously, playing bass is an enriching experience. Even when playing the most soulless, linguine-spined, whiteboy music...you can commandeer the groove, put some motion into it. Yes, I love the bass...

The Great Bear Awakens

I'm somewhat surprised at myself for leaving this topic untouched...the Beslan hostage crisis. I find it stunning that our media will refer to these cowardly dogs unfit for staining the blades of our bayonets with their rancid, pale, venemous blood as "Chechan rebels", just as the murderous, hate-filled terrorists in Iraq are now known as "militants". Wow, that first bit was good, Michael Savage would be proud. These vermin who would shoot a young, innocent child in the back like an animal... Well, suffice to say that I am excited and grateful to hear that the Russian government has not lapsed into the fearful and ineffective tactic of concessions. These are people who don't care about political correctness or how nice people in the world think their country is...they care about killing the bastards who did this and those that would do it again. Thank goodness we now have an ally, perhaps an ally we've not always been too chummy with (that's for sure), but at least another country united in our resolve to fight this doctrine of Islamic facism and terrorism, and vanquish it and its murderous adherents from the face of the Earth. I must confess, I am thrilled to see a resolved Russia now ready to fight terrorism, infinitely moreso than had France or Germany done such an about-face. Those two countries are irrelevant, and they haven't had a serious military in almost 60 years, unless you count our boys stationed over there to protect them from the now-defunct Red Army. So piss on France and Germany (you didn't think I could get any more elegant in my word selection, did you?). Besides with the current demographic trends, France may be a hardline Islamist state in 20 years!

The Russians bitterly remember the tooth-and-nail fighting in Afghanistan...perhaps they will put their experience to good use. There are certainly a lot of ex-Soviet "-stans" over there that could use a little policing and watching over. The Russians certainly aren't as averse to harshness and sacrifice as the average soft-bellied American is. Seeing Russian troops fighting alongside American troops would be quite a sight, admittedly! Last time that happened they had Berlin between them.

Simple, plain Clarence...I do love thee so, that I shall shortly send thy soul to heaven...if heaven will take the present at our hands...

Pardon me, the Bard has these rantings (or in the words of a certain Dane, "Words, words, words!") bouncing around me head.

No longwinded rants today, nor any great insights...just a simple note of gratitude for the President's recent political comeback. I'd like to also mention that my "schadenfreude" as previously mentioned is not something I experience concerning all Democrats...only the extremely hostile and hateful variety who have been hurling screed after venemous screed at Bush since the 2000 elections. To those more moderate and reasonable Democrats (Zell Miller?) I offer this consolation, though it may seem no consolation indeed at this time. Perhaps as time waxes onward and the eye of history looks back unclouded by the heady times we are all caught up in, we will see perhaps that we were better off with Bush at the helm...beyond political reasonings and party doctrine, but simply just for the sake of our country. Perhaps not, though. Time will judge more wisely than any editorialist or commentator could. Above the political fray and the power struggles there is a fundamental question: how do we protect Americans from Islamic radicals around the world, bent on killing every one of us whatever it takes? I hope pick the right choice, because seriously folks...God forbid that it would take a mushroom cloud over Kansas City (or any other city) to get us to take this war seriously. Just taking that as an example...my wife and I would be vaporized, along with the majority of our friends and family. Millions, possibly billions dead. You have to accept this as a possible threat...they have the will to do it and are working damn hard to achieve the means to do it. If you live in denial of the threat of nuclear terrorism you will never be able to fight it and prevent it. And then there is Kerry's stumping mantra of "jobs, jobs, jobs"? Could you pick a more irrelevant campaign issue???

There are those who would accuse me, and others who raise topics such as these, of "fear-mongering." Just as they would have accused a pre-9/11 whistleblower of the same thing. You bet your sorry ass it's fear-mongering...it wouldn't hurt to foster a little concern among a sedate and comfortable people, who are fast lapsing into denial concerning terrorism, as the painful reality of 9/11 fades into a more distant memory. How much better that they would wake up a little and that fear would motivate them to take precautions concerning our security, than to have an unprecedented slaughter of our people (via a suitcase nuke, a virus strain, whatever) be required to jar us into action.

Ahhh...the late night, tired, emotional, and flaccidly verbose post. The staple of the Blogworld.

I'm listening to some absolutely wonderful music right now. The music from Yes's late 70s albums, in particular, "Relayer" and "Going For The One". While I have traditionally favoured their early and mid 70s material, this is rich and delightful stuff. It offers so much to the refined musical palate...one could listen to this a thousand times and still "get something" from it. I've been on a Yes sabbatical you might say for some time, having been enraptured by the funky-fine groovistifications of Steely Dan, but tonight I sit and rediscover the rapturous beauty and stunning virtues of their music.

What I wouldn't give to create this sort of music. This has been a distant dream of mine for years, and played a big role in the breakup of my high school/early college rock band. The other chaps had a desire to strike commercial success of some kind (so out come the horn sections and ska music...just kidding, wasn't that long ago), while I had a vision to create something much bigger and worthy, the fans be damned! Well, not quite that bad, but you get the idea.

I realise that a vast minority of people would ever agree with me on this music. I also grant that music is an entirely subjective subject, and I've shed some of my elitist mentalities. However, I do recognise a pattern I've noticed. There are some things in life that require more effort to get into, to start to enjoy. Most people are turned off by that and go for the instantly accessible. However in my experience many of these things reward the patient person much more deeply. In the case of Yes music, yes, your pop/metal/emo stuff is easy to follow and keeps songs in bite-size lengths...but they aren't the sort of music that you are going to listen to carefully, almost breathlessly, with earphones, and enjoy intensely while focusing entirely on the music. Likewise, Tolkien's literature isn't exactly an easy read. The Hobbit goes down easily, admittedly, but when you get to The Silmarillion, you have to put effort into it...literally study it. I can say from experience it is entirely worth it. Another quite unrelated example is in distilled spirits...most Americans do not have interest past those cloying candied alcoholic sodas that are mislabelled as "wine coolers", piss-yellow and thin American swill beer, and basic California table wines. It takes a bit of effort to move from these easy-to-drink yet frightfully boring beverages to something like cognac, calvados, or a fine Scotch dram. I suppose I have moved a great distance into pretentious sod territory when I have reached the point where my enjoyment in merely enjoying the nose, or aromas, of such fine spirits equals that of drinking them, but that's my own issue, I suppose!

Yes, I grant you, in retrospect, I sound like a pretentious snob, and perhaps the world wouldn't be better off with more folks sharing my tastes. But as I listen to the softly echoing refrains of "Soon" from The Gates of Delirium (also off of Relayer) I think, it is a shame no one else I know could enjoy this the way I do. True, it is just music, but it reaches quite deep, and I'd love to see others experience this...and love it as I do. Alas, not a likely fate...I should be content to enjoy this undiscovered (by my generation) gem of the music world by myself.

And So It Begins.

http://www.time.com/time/press_releases/article/0,8599,692562,00.html

Bush opens a double-digit lead on Kerry...we felt this coming in the air, and its quite a nice bounce for Bushie in these times when the undecided block is relatively miniscule. Ahh, as the race was once called (by Zogby) "Kerry's to lose" now it is Bush's to lose. He can only lose now by fouling something up dramatically. Not a time to celebrate victory...we'll save that for the evening of November 2nd. But Bush is up, and Kerry is down...and doesn't exactly look like he's got much ammo left to hurl at the incumbent. That's the problem...the ammo is spent, and Bush just waited in his political foxhole...he survived the onslaught of political and personal attacks levelled at him, and that's the key...by not getting into a tit-for-tat exchange with Kerry he seems to be excelling and getting into gear as we approach the last two months of the campaign. We are eight weeks out, my friends...that's still a lot of time but we are picking up steam at just the right moment. Forgive me for this moment of schadenfreude, but seeing the hate-filled libs faced with an uncontestable and resounding reelection of Dubya, and all of the anguish and trauma that will certainly subject them to, brings a bit of a guilty grin to my face. We will see in November what the American people really think, and if all continues to go well, the Democrats will have to face the torturous reality that they do not represent the common man in America.

When Brian Boitano travelled through time to the year 3010, he fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again...ahhh, pearls of wisdom from Matt Stone and Trey Parker.