25 July 2008

Hooray!

Gas prices are falling at last!

What do we have to thank for this?

Why, our hard-working Senators, that fearlessly and selflessly hauled the Fat Cat Evil Windfall Profiteers that head up Big Oil companies onto Capitol Hill, to give them a good tongue-lashing. Yes, their courageous tenacity and willingness to go on camera asking "the hard questions" of these fiscally-obese, greediferous oilmongers was what saved the day!

No doubt, the CEOs of Exxon, Shell, BP, Chevron, and Conoco all had a change of heart, thanks to the powerful rebukes laid upon them by our politicians. They probably called up their HR department and said, "Put my paycheck on hold for a while. I want the company to use that money to bring prices down, because Dick Durbin wanted to know how I explained our windfall profits, and I couldn't answer him without being overcome with shame."

Thank you Senators!
[slow, sarcastic clap]

7 comments:

The Unabashed Blogger said...

I like to think that they are feeling the crunch of lost revenue because of commuters nation wide riding their bicycles to work. But, I may be wrong...

Percussivity said...

Microsoft has a higher profit margin than any of the big oil companies. It is called supply and demand (not granted, the oil companies do seem to take their time in dropping the prices when they can spike over night... but it is still basically just supply and demand that drives the prices).

A Pilgrim's Porridge said...

something to look forward to.

http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D923TU2G0.htm

Supply and demand sucks for a guys like Phillip who are demanding more bike lanes.

Percussivity said...

Wow... I wonder where they are diverting all the water to while the river is closed down? :-P

The Irascible Neufonzola said...

They found no need to divert the water. Apparently they are flying the Esteemed Senator back over from Frogland and he will raise up his arms, causing the waters to recede.

The Unabashed Blogger said...

Isn't a barge and tanker collision similar to the Austin Powers steam roller incident?

The Angry Coder said...

Were these interviews on C-SPAN? I bet there was a lot of winking and nodding. If these Senators were in any way sincere, isn't something akin to cannibalism?