Gas prices are falling at last!
What do we have to thank for this?
Why, our hard-working Senators, that fearlessly and selflessly hauled the Fat Cat Evil Windfall Profiteers that head up Big Oil companies onto Capitol Hill, to give them a good tongue-lashing. Yes, their courageous tenacity and willingness to go on camera asking "the hard questions" of these fiscally-obese, greediferous oilmongers was what saved the day!
No doubt, the CEOs of Exxon, Shell, BP, Chevron, and Conoco all had a change of heart, thanks to the powerful rebukes laid upon them by our politicians. They probably called up their HR department and said, "Put my paycheck on hold for a while. I want the company to use that money to bring prices down, because Dick Durbin wanted to know how I explained our windfall profits, and I couldn't answer him without being overcome with shame."
Thank you Senators!
[slow, sarcastic clap]