13 November 2007


Get your cats indoors, folks, because Jimmy Carter is on the prowl, he's got birdshot loaded, and he's ANGRY!

A 17 year old letter, stored in a museum, tells the story of Carter's feline intolerance in a colourful way. My first theory was that President Carter mistook the animal, from a distance, for the giant swimming rabbit that tormented him over ten years prior, back to finish the job once and for all. Another possibility is that Gerry Ford swung by with a couple cases of Natural Light and halfway through the second case, the 38th President bet the 39th President he couldn't zing that mangy cat out on the lawn with his over-and-under.

Perhaps this can be taken as an exoneration of Dick Cheney. Apparently politicians fail to separate the effects of a shotgun in Looney Tunes shorts from the effects of a shotgun in real life, and assumedly the Dark Lord Chenu was just trying to "sting" Mr. Whittington, like Carter with his sister-in-law's cat.

4 comments:

matt said...

Absolutely hilarious. I probably wouldn't have thought too much about the rabbit, but I will surely read into the cat.

If the ex-prez comes 'round, I'll be out on the front yard with my own birdshot, like I was an Independence farmer with daughters and the Mormons just rolled into town.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Josephsmithtarandfeatherharpers.jpg

The Irascible Neufonzola said...

Your Independence Farmer's Choice for a Less Than Lethal Anti-Personnel Shotgun Load:

Rock salt.

http://www.theboxotruth.com/docs/bot33.htm

Anonymous said...

The street name for Natural Light is "Nat Light" You don't say "Natural" when speaking of Nat Light. It somehow makes it even cheaper sounding.

I don't know why, just thought I would let you know.

The Irascible Neufonzola said...

You are correct sir. I have even heard it further familiarized as "Nattie Light". But I like to think that Pres. Ford, may he rest in peace, would have given it the dignity of its formal name.