Sorry for not posting lately, noble blogreading loyallists.

I was going to post on getting my Saiga last week...which, I'll afford this much, is way cool...but it might seem a tad insensitive at the moment.

But let's get the topics of levity on the table and out of the way. I've rediscovered an appreciation for radio. Not talk radio, mind you, actual music radio. I had long chalked it up as broadcasted bile, but there are three particular programs that o'erflow with excellence. Yes, I am of course referring to "Funk in the Trunk", "Saturday Night Groove Party", and "Nights with Alice Cooper". The two former are on 107.3, which...how can I put this delicately...is a Radio Station of Colour. Which is how I like my radio stations. Seriously, if you're going with pop music, I'm defecting. My urban brothers have it going on in the music department.

And Alice, he has two things in his favour. Firstly, he is a genuinely funny guy. I feel like this is one of those statements that will be vigorously contested by sundry persons, but there, I said it, he amuses me greatly. Secondly, the man knows rock music. He was there. And he plays rock music. He doesn't just queue up the same inane hits we've been tired of for decades now, he plays ALBUM ROCK. He plays songs that haven't been on the radio for years (if ever). And I haven't heard him (yet) play any 80s spandex rock. Other than some of the accepted ones, like Van Halen and the Oz.

On to more serious topics. Yesterday was a rather horrific day to watch the news. What a terrible tragedy. You know, that sounds a bit fake, doesn't it? At least to me...its one of those cookie-cutter statements everyone makes in these times...I'll be a bit more genuine, and just say, what a damn shame.

Lesson Number One. This is not meant as a criticism of any of the victims, so please do not interpret it as such; it is an exhortation that maybe some people will learn from this. If you are being lined up against a wall by a man with a gun that is not a police officer, you are likely dead. With that accepted, you now have a choice: how do you want to die? Running, fighting, or on your knees in a line? Please, please, people, be ready to pick one of the first two choices. And I do mean be ready, because it is a mindset issue. If you are not mentally prepared, you will be frozen in shock. I mean no contempt at all for the poor victims, and who knows, there may have been some heroism involved that we will learn about later, but it is so tragic that these students (if the reports are true) meekly submitted to being martyrs of this man's indiscriminate, random insanity. Be ready to react. I'm not necessarily talking about armed response, but be ready to meet this sort of thing with a violent, rapid, determined escape. Tooth and claw.

Lesson Number Two. "Gun free zones" would be a punchline to a joke if it wasn't so tragic. As another person put it, they are essentially "human hunting preserves", or "no-risk crime zones". People will not learn from this though. They will simply call for more "gun free zones" like Virginia Tech, basically expanding the safe base of operations for people who want to kill as many unarmed people as possible before being accosted. Murderers do not turn around and leave if they see a "no guns permitted" sign. It is a freaking welcome mat for them, essentially a
"no armed citizens in here, come on in, crazy person, and enjoy your risk-free murder spree!" sign.

Lesson Number Three. Stalin got it wrong, with the "single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic" line. In this case it seems a bit of the reverse. I looked up the US murder rate, filtered it to include only murders committed with guns, and in 2004 (last year I found data on) there was, on average, 30 murders by gun every day in the United States. Meaning, the same amount of people murdered at VA Tech yesterday will be murdered today. And likewise tomorrow. And the next day. On and on it goes, and when they are spread evenly across the nation, no one notices. But confine them to a square mile or so, and it is an unthinkable tragedy. I'm not saying it isn't an unthinkable tragedy. I'm just pointing out an interesting thing about our psychology. It is more the circumstances of the deaths yesterday that bothered us, not the number, because as mentioned, that many people are shot and killed almost daily. OK, so this isn't so much a "Lesson" but I am just keeping with the whole Lesson Number 1-2-3 theme. Give me a break.

Lesson Number Four. Despite the lack of any logical link or reasoning that further laws regarding guns will somehow make these things impossible, now is the time to buy your Glock 20-rounders to get them grandfathered in.

Lesson Number Five. Clips and magazines are NOT interchangeable. Examples of clips include stripper clips that hold rifle rounds for top-loading rifles like the Russian SKS, or moon clips that hold rimless rounds for revolvers. Magazines are the long boxes that hold stacked ammunition for auto-loading pistols and rifles. If you are a reporter and you erroneously refer to magazines as clips on the air, expect me to yell ineffectually at the TV. You have been warned.

Lesson Number Six. Any radio station that has the cojones to name their drive-home-from-work show "Funk in the Trunk" is A-OK with me.