I'm all hepped up and crunked out on diphenhydramine right now, so you'll have to excuse the flagging quality of today's post. I have an old Army survival field manual. I thought I'd share a couple pictures.

The first speaks (volumes!) for itself:


And the second:


Thank God our brave men of the US armed forces are equipped with inflating pants.

So, to "Don't Ask" and "Don't Tell" it appears we might need to add "Don't Broadcast Around the Globe Via Viral Internet Video":